I’ve been doing some soul searching and I have worked hard for this smile ✨ Let me explain...
I've taken some time to reconnect with myself because I found myself just being off. Every little thing would make me feeling some type of way. I was coming up with more and more excuses why I couldn't create, why I didn't have time to do things I once did and quickly the days were passing me by without being my normal productive self. The headspace I was in was getting foggier by the day and I was all over the place with decisions and responsibilities and I just felt lost. I found myself not feeling like myself and not even knowing what or who “myself” even was anymore. I had to sit back and take a moment to realize that after dealing with so many life altering changes all at once, I needed to take a deep breath and try to wrap my mind around everything I've been dealing with and what I've been avoiding. I found myself often being defensive, insecure, easily offended and negative because I was holding so many things in. The super positive, loving, happy, creative person a lot of people close to me have grown to love, was missing in action and I had to do something.
I decided to take a step back and nurture the me I am and the me I want to be.
During this time of reflection, I’ve learned a lot about myself and began to accept and understand the work I'm going to have to do. I’ve internalized a lot and it has worn me down in ways that have had me feeling like I’m crazy!
BUT I choose Joy because I deserve to be happy. No matter how hard it is to get there, I’ve decided to do the work and I’m determined now more than ever. To not just do the work, but to encourage others to do the same.
We’ve all heard it but it’s SO true, taking time to concentrate on my mental health and wellness is SO important. Not just for me and my family but for the entire universe. We are all here for a reason, we all have purpose and if we are able to tap into our true selves and make beautiful contributions to the world with our gifts, how much greater will the world be?!?
The more I start digging deeper and trying to figure out how I tick and what I need to operate more intentionally and purposefully, the more I’m finding things that are deeply rooted that I need to uproot and release. I've had to unlearn and learn a lot. Some things require some heavy lifting and hard work but my soul, true loved ones and those I am called to reach deserve it. I’ve developed more strength, more wisdom and am better for it.
I'm not saying I'll never have low moments moving forward or that life will be happy and wonderful from this moment on, but my hope is that as I post this, I give myself accountability to TRY. My goal is to try to operate in a spirit of love, power and a sound mind daily, while encouraging others to love and nurture the you within that may be crying out for help. Listen to your heart and soul. We all deserve love, especially from within. You need you and We need need you too.
Sending love and light to you all 🙏🏾